dear morgan cat,

it is probably not wise to eat whatever it is you're eating. especially since you found it on my floor. for future reference, we do not eat anything found on my floor, k? neither one of us knows how long it has been there. nor do we know what it is.

dear cat right outside my window,

stop teasing morgan cat.

dear lady at staples who gave me a disapproving look,

i don't think its fair for you to give me disapproving looks if you don't know me. i usually deserve disapproving looks, however, not from people who don't know me.

p.s. -screw you.