my brother will be graduating from college in the spring [a physics major]. do i care? no. i don't plan on going to his graduation either. he didn't go to my high school graduation [i was at his. that asshole]. i know i'll get the "but he's your *brother*!" line. yes, he is my brother. however, not by choice. he doesn't care about what i do, why should i care about what he does?

and you know what really pisses me off? everything works out for him. had a choice of almost every school in the country to go to, got offered a free 4 year ride to some school in california [UCLA i think], is going on to grad school, and will probably be a billionare before he's 30.

however, for me, everything gets fucked up one way or another, be it something major or minor. if i'm lucky, i'll be able to transfer into a [hopefully] decent college with a [hopefully] decent anthropology program. knowing my luck, i'll do shitty at that, fall back on my other plans [linguistics anthro or history]. which of course somehow i'll probably fuck up someway. after that, i'll hitch-hike all across the country [and canada]. which i'm sure would also end up in the "going to get fucked up" category.

you know.. i might sound bitchy. but i'm not. i'm not in that much of a shitty mood [not as much as earlier today].

i just know that things in my life get fucked up. whether its something small like getting kicked out of high school for two days [plus a saturday detention. fuck you Comstock!] or something like not being accepted to a college [fuck you GVSU!]