dear dr laura: shut the hell up.

-the non religious homo, me.

dear guy in the big grey suv who was tail-gating me on I-94 on my way home from work: fuck you. why are you tail-gating me? with your brights on? i'm already speeding as it is, i'm not gonna go any faster for you. i have your license plate memorized, if you're ever parked next to me, i may key your car. just thought it would be fair to give you a warning.

-watch out for keys, me.

dear lady i called in washington state at about 4pm (your time): you were very nice. also, since you were pleasant, i apologize if all of our constant calling annoyed you. if it did, you were very good at hiding it.

-have a groovy day, me.

dear kate1: i know i said that i think pink is a horrible color. but it is. to me. i will say though, that you looked really fuckin' hot in that tight pink tee shirt you wore today.

-wear it more often?, me.

dear trevor: curling is too a good sport.

-go play golf dork, me.

dear self: why do you keep putting the cereal boxes up on the very top shelf? you can't reach that high. when you actually have to kinda toss the boxes up there, that might me a clue.

-you're an odd duck, self.