i don't want him in this state, this town, or this house.

i don't want him coming in my room when i'm not here and using my computer.

i don't want him coming in here when i am home.

i don't want him in the room where i live.

i don't want him anywhere near anything i own.

i don't want him pawing through my cds and books.

i don't want him bitching about my music.

i don't want him anywhere near me.

if he comes in here one more fucking time, i will beat him with the hammer i have sitting next to my computer. i have threatened to stab him with scissors before. i am not above these things.

that stupid fuck had better be happy if he makes it to his plane on sunday without being black and blue.

i am sick of this shit.

.

.

.

i'm better now. actually, no i'm not, i'm still bitter.

i'm making mom some wine in the next few weeks or so. and some beer. we have the perfect basement for storing wine. yay.

i've decided that as soon as my black hair is gone, i'm dying it Luscious Mango.

i want to live in a teepee.

i can't wait til i leave here. i'm sad and depressed.

i hope i get to talk to erica tonight. she's the only one who makes me not depressed. she never makes me want to cry either. she's the only one i want to lay outside and look at the night sky with. i want to sit up and watch the sunrise with her. those are things that i do by myself. things that are special to me. she makes me all warm and fuzzy inside and i want to share my night sky and sunrises with her.