i really have nothing to talk about. nothing that could vaguely be considered important anyway. but then again, do i ever?

this makes me smile. its eden riegel doing a solo.

there's something on tv, but i don't know what it is. infomercial probably. i don't really care. i suppose that's why its on mute.

its rainy and windy out and i have my bedroom window open. i like it. its a nice relief from all the hot weather we've been having. also, listening to the rain gives me something to do, considering there's no one to talk to. mom and the brother both fell asleep about 10pm, so it's just been me. i can't find morgan cat either, and wally cat doesn't let anyone pet him, and lady dog is under mom's bed, so i don't even have any pets to pet/play with/talk to. its sad.

i'm awfully pathetic aren't i?

thursday, alice and i were outside at work talking about kate1's trip (she took a 2 week vacation and called us to chat), and somehow we ended up talking about The Great Expedition (i'm not sure how though). and blah blah blah.. and so alice mentions how she wants to go to south dakota, and i tell her if i go there, i'll send her a postcard.. and she said that after a week a travelling i'll be ready to come home. i disagreed with her, and she said (and i quote) "i know you. you'll be ready to come home within a week." granted, she has been one of my best friends for 12 years, however, i know myself better than she does. why would i want to come back here anyways? i have roughly no friends, my dad and i barely talk, and for a reason i'm not to entirely positive of, i'm getting a bit paranoid and cautious around mom. my job? eh, i've quit many things in my life, this job won't be close to the last.

one of the reasons i'm travelling is that if i don't, i know i'll be stuck in this town forever. i don't want that. how would i ever get out? its not like i'm smart enough to transfer to a college or anything.

i just want to get away from everything. especially before i hurt myself. i'm already piercing my arms with safety pins again.

i think i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep..